The Break Up
by A Sirius Crush On Moony
Summary: Sister-fic to Passage of Hesitance. Remus feels overwhelmed by his guilt of cheating on Will with Sirius, and decides what needs to be done. Remus/OC, should probably read Passage of Hesitance before reading this.


**This is a sister fic to my longer story 'Passage of Hesitance'. I suppose you could read it seperately, but it wouldn't make much sense.**

**It's best to read this after chapter 32 of Passage of Hesitance. I couldn't _not_ write it. As Passage of Hesitance is all from Sirius's POV, and I had this idea in my head, it needed to be written XD**

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**THE BREAK**** UP****  
****_(A 'Passage of Hesitance' sister fic)_**

Remus couldn't sleep. He'd been lying in bed for hours watching the clock tick away. 3:24am, 3:25am, 3:26am. He turned over and pulled the covers up over himself. He watched as Will slept next to him peacefully, breathing calmly, in and out. Remus closed his eyes. His mind was still a bit groggy from the alcohol. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_, he thought angrily. He _never_ let himself get drunk. What was he _thinking_? He pulled the covers back and stepped out of the bed. This was the third time tonight. He walked towards the bathroom door and opened it quietly so as not to wake Will.

He turned on the light, and shielded his eyes as the brightness was blinding. When his eyes finally adjusted to the light, he moved his hands away and stepped up to the mirror. He stared at his reflection. He had dark bags under his eyes. He was obviously tired – couldn't he just _sleep_ already?

His hands were shaking when he turned on the tap and splashed water in his face. He stared back at his face in the mirror. He hated himself. Usually when he looked in the mirror, he hated just his reflection on the outside, but now he hated himself on the inside. How could he _do_ that? How could he _cheat_ on his boyfriend? Remus felt like punching the mirror, and shattering his reflection into a million little pieces because that's what he deserved.

Instead, he turned off the tap and turned off the light. He headed back into bed and sighed. What had happened to all of his Gryffindor courage?

3:32am, 3:33am, 3:34am.

Remus sat up, and put his face in his hands. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. This was the worst feeling ever. He wished desperately he could just rewind time a little. _Why_ had he kissed Sirius? It was the stupidest thing he could have possibly done.

"Rem?"

The tired voice startled Remus. He turned to face Will who was lying down rubbing his eyes. "What's wrong?" Will asked with a yawn.

"I can't sleep," Remus mumbled.

"C'mere," Will said, holding his arms out. Remus felt selfish lying down in those arms. He felt selfish when he turned his head and kissed Will. He felt selfish when he heard Will whisper 'I love you'.

All he could feel was guilt, guilt, guilt just bubbling up inside him. He felt physically sick with it. He felt Will kiss him on the forehead. More guilt.

3:37am, 3:38am, 3:39am.

He wasn't sure if Will was awake or sleeping, but he hoped that he was awake because Remus couldn't bear saying this twice. "I cheated on you," he said in barely a whisper. He waited for a response, and after a second he heard a sigh from next to him and Will's arms loosened their grip around him. He watched his boyfriend's face, as his eyes opened and he looked at Remus with sadness in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," Remus said. "I just... can't even excuse this. I'm so so sorry."

"Sirius?" Will asked. Remus knew that the fact that it was Sirius made everything so much worse. He nodded, hating himself more and more by the second. He saw the conflict in Will's eyes, and then he saw them soften. "I forgive you."

"What?" Remus said, alarmed. "You can't just forgive me. What I did was awful. I deserve to get kicked out or punched or... or... I don't deserve this!"

"I trust you, Remus. You told me what happened, and I trust that you really are sorry," Will said. "I also trust that you wouldn't do it again."

"Will, I know what it's like to be cheated on," Remus said, his voice breaking. "I know how heartbreaking and hurtful it is. Merlin, I hate myself. How could I do that to you, after I've been through it myself?"

"Can I be blunt, Rem?"

Remus nodded. He deserved whatever Will was about to say.

"You're an idiot," Will said, sitting up and letting go of Remus. "You know, I act as nice as I possibly can to Sirius when I see him. I pretend I don't know what he's done to you. I pretend that I've forgiven him for that, even though I could never forgive him for hurting you."

"Will..."

"No, I really can't stand him. He takes the piss. Thinks he should get anything he wants, and guess what! He _does_ get everything he wants. He's so damned dramatic about everything, too. If he doesn't get his way, he'll go and sulk about it like a little child or he'll bring everybody else down and talk non-stop about his petty little problems."

Remus swallowed hard. He'd never heard Will talk like this – he was always so calm and kind and never had a bad word to say about anyone.

"I try my _hardest_ to be kind to him, Remus, I really do. What do I get in return? He always makes snide comments or throws me dirty looks or says something about how he still wants to be with you. He's nasty, and cruel, and you know what? I'm actually surprised he wasn't in Slytherin – he has _all_ of the qualities."

"Will," Remus said quietly. "He's more than that. You've only seen that side to him."

"Well, I don't like that side of him. May I ask, _how_ can you love him?"

"I-"

"Do you _not_ remember how badly he's hurt you over the years?" Will asked, staring hard at Remus.

"Y-yes, I do," Remus mumbled.

"Remus, he _cheated_ on you. He wouldn't have even told you if you hadn't walked in on him," Will said, angrily. "Then, when you were happy with me, he stole you back. Fair enough, okay. Everybody deserves a second chance. Then he cheated on you _again_ after he promised he'd never hurt you again. Now you've been with me since seventh year, and he's gone and kissed you again and you've fallen under his spell _once again_."

Remus didn't want to point out that he was the one who instigated the kiss.

"It's like, you're so delusional when it comes to him!" Will almost shouted. He sounded exasperated. "You love him too much to see what he's done to you. You forget _everything_ he's done!"

Remus blinked a tear out of his eyes. "You're right," he sniffed. "You're right. I'm an idiot."

"I have been your friend from the beginning. I've comforted you, I've talked to you, I've been there from you. I don't remember _ever_ hurting you. I _couldn't_ hurt you – I love you far too much. I love you more than he ever will, and yet for some reason you love him and not me. How is that fair? He gets _everything _he wants."

"I _do_ love you," Remus said, placing a hand on Will's cheek. "I love you."

"You don't love me. If you loved me, you wouldn't cheat on me. I know that it could _never_ be a possibility for me. If you truly love someone, you just wouldn't. I know for a fact you would never cheat on Sirius," Will said. "Though he keeps cheating on you. He doesn't love you."

"I'm sorry. I guess, with Sirius I keep hoping he'll change and I'm willing to risk it all," Remus said, letting out a sigh. "With you, I know my heart's completely safe."

They stared at each other for a minute or so and Remus leaned forwards to kiss Will on the lips. "I love you, I really do."

"But you aren't _in love_ with me," Will replied, with a sad smile. "I know. Remus, I want to give you a choice, here. I know you want to be with Sirius. You go and be with him if you really want to, and I will _always_ be here for you as a friend, and if he hurts you again know that you can talk to me."

"That's not fair to you!" Remus said, feeling guiltier than ever.

"I love you, and I just want you to be happy. You'll be happier with him. However, if you walk out that door tonight and choose him I want you to know that that's it for us," Will said. Remus could see that it pained him to say this. "I'm not just going to be a back up for when Sirius hurts you. I can't do that to myself. I have more self respect than that."

"I understand," Remus whispered.

"If you choose to stay with me, you know I'll be really happy. But Remus, I know you'll choose him so let's not even talk about this anymore. You can leave your stuff here tonight and pick it up tomorrow. Go and stay with him tonight, please. I know you want to."

Remus reached out his hand and pulled Will towards him for a last kiss. It was a sweet kiss, like the ones they used to share in their Hogwarts days, and Remus just didn't want to stop because he knew this was it for them, forever.

When they pulled apart, there were tears in both of their eyes. Remus glanced at the clock. 3:57am, 3:58am.

"I should probably go, then," Remus said. Will nodded sadly, squeezing Remus's hand softly.

"I'll always be here, okay," Will said. "Thank you for giving me the best two years of my life."

Remus nodded and smiled. "Goodbye."

"Bye, Remus."

3:59am.

Remus stood up and took one last look at Will. He gave a small wave.

4:00am.

_Crack_. Remus was gone.

**~THE END~**


End file.
